Well, they did it. A conclave of astronomers officially downgraded the ninth planet, Pluto, into something less. Clyde Tombaugh, the lad who discovered this whatever-it-is-now, must be reeling somewhere in the fifth dimension. He was the amateur, a mere boy that inferred the existence of Pluto from the behavior of nearby celestial bodies. A cool accomplishment for a novice, don't you think? It would never happen to one of today's teenagers, because as we well know they have no time for directly observing nature. Getting them to simply play outdoors without being plugged into an iPod or a cell phone is nearly impossible. So, officially, we have eight planets instead of nine. Imagine having the time on your hands to debate, over the course of years, whether something constitutes a planet. What a luxury! When others are worrying about pleasing their bosses and customers, it's great to know that hundreds, if not thousands of serious scientists have the time to pick on a puny piece of rock in the cosmos. It's almost like what would happen if the governors of the other 49 states decided that Rhode Island should no longer be regarded as an equivalent sovereign entity. That perhaps, it should be downgraded to the status of Guam or Puerto Rico. Would that be a debate worthy of governors? If there was ever an argument that academics, such as these astronomers, have their heads in the clouds, well this decision of theirs is it. But don't worry about Pluto. It isn't offended. It has decided that astronomers really aren't people! |