The word "negotiation" ? often has a negative connotation - especially among women - because it is viewed as an adversarial process where someone will win at the expense of another. This may be true in some scenarios, but it doesn't have to be that way. We negotiate every day. Negotiating isn't reserved just for big deal events like legal battles, buying a house, or getting a raise. It's also getting your spouse to do the dishes if you agree to cook his favorite meal. It's convincing your secretary to come in early to help you with a time sensitive project. It's getting all your siblings to agree on where to hold your parent's 40th wedding anniversary party. It's deciding on the most effective office policy to reduce employee theft. Negotiating is an every day event - a common activity. Don't make it more than it is. Here are 9 tricks to negotiating more successfully. 1) Being prepared is half the battle. Walking into a negotiation unprepared almost guarantees that you will not leave with what you want. Many people leave feeling that they were "taken" ? or that they didn't get what they wanted. Before you sit down at the negotiating table you should know the following things: >What do you want? >Why do you want it? >What are you willing to give up if you had to? >What are you not willing to give up, no matter what? 2) An emotional negotiator, is a bad negotiator Have you ever gone food shopping when you are hungry? If so, you probably bought food you would have otherwise passed over, and you most likely spent more money than usual. Why? It's because your sense of hunger eclipsed your normal buying decisions - just as emotions can overpower your negotiating effectiveness if you allow them. When you are negotiating salary, the purchase of a new home, or which candidate to hire for a job opening, you must be sure that you do not allow your emotions to get in the way of the negotiating process. Becoming emotionally attached to an item in the negotiation will often cause negotiators to spend more, agree to unreasonable terms, give away too much, and falsely estimate value. To help eliminate emotions during the negotiation, be sure to avoid emotionally charged language such as feel, hope, believe, and wish. Also, do your best to eliminate "I" ? statements from your negotiating vocabulary so you negotiation doesn't become personal. 3) Let (or get) the other party to make the first offer. The first offer is usually the starting place for the negotiation and will affect the process until the end. It is in your best interest not to make the first offer, though in some situations, you will have to be the first one. Allow yourself to respond to an offer, rather then setting the pace yourself. Here are some examples of how to solicit the first offer from the other party (even when it is already listed): >"What is the salary for this job?" ? >"What is the budget for this project?" ? >"The sticker price on the car is obviously negotiable, right?" ? >"Why don't we start with your best offer." ? 4) Listen and really hear what the other party is saying. By saying less and listening more, you can learn a lot about the needs of the other party. Try to listen for and learn information about the other party such as: >"What is important to them?" ? >"Why is it important to them?" ? >"What is non-negotiable?" ? For example, if you were negotiating to buy a house, and you knew the seller was being relocated to another state, she may be more willing to negotiate on price due to her time constraints associated with moving. Ask open-ended questions (the kind that can't be answered with a simple "yes" ? or "no" ?) to learn more about the needs of the other part. 5) Align your needs with their needs If you are able to find a connection to your needs and the needs of the other party, it will be easier to find a win-win solution. Do your best to satisfy the needs of the other party while satisfying your own. If you have something you know the other party wants, offer it up in exchange for something you want. If you can't give them what they want, find something else you can give them to align with their needs, so you get something to satisfy yours. 6) Creativity is key Good negotiators are creative negotiators, though few people look past the basic elements such as price in the negotiating process. Get creative and look beyond the obvious when negotiating. Everything is negotiable and everything has value. If you can't get what you want, look to satisfy your needs with something that has similar value to you. The boss won't give you a monetary raise? Ask for a company car, a better 401K match, use of the company athletic "sky box" ?, a better corporate title, or a key to the executive washroom. 7) If you give, you have to get Part of a successful negotiation is making sure that each party gets to add to or subtract from their list of "gets" ? at the same time. Many people, especially women, say they do not like "negotiating" ? the purchase of a new car. This is in part because car dealers don't negotiate, they just drop price trying to figure out what the buyer will pay. So, when the customer leaves, she's never totally convinced she got the best deal. Never just give something in a negotiation without getting something in return. For example, if your employer wants you to work longer hours, but says he can't afford to pay you more, then ask for an extra week of paid vacation in exchange for the extra hours worked. Get something of value to you in return for what you are giving away. When you give something away, without anything of value returned to you, that's not a negotiation, it's a GIFT. 8) Aim high (or low) for maximum results. The higher you aim, the more room you have to negotiate. The lower you start the more room you have to negotiate. Be optimistic during the negotiation process, but expect your first offer to be rejected, even if it was a good offer. Keep in mind that "a ridiculous offer" ? is only relative to your perspective. What is an unreasonable offer to one person may be acceptable to someone else. Expect positive results in the negotiation process and aim high. If you don't ask, you'll never get it. 9) Know when, and be prepared, to walk away. If you enter the negotiating process without being willing to walk away, then you shouldn't be negotiating at all. Know ahead of time what you are willing to walk away from and what your actual "final offer" ? is. Once you give that final offer, and it is rejected, you must be willing to end the negotiation. Many times, after one party has given their final offer and "walked away" ? from the negotiations, the other party will come back later and accept the offer, even if they originally turned the offer down. Have the confidence in yourself and in your negotiating strength and be willing to give a final offer and stick to it, even if it means you have to find a new job, another house, another car, or another thing to replace what you were negotiating for. Again, don't make negotiating more difficult than it is. Remember, you are in control the whole time and no one can make you agree to terms you are not comfortable with. You always have the option to say, "no" ? and walk away. Just make sure you've thought through your back up plan. |
