For many of us, anger is a very difficult emotion to experience and deal with in a satisfactory manner. Recently, on several network t.v. shows as well as on the internet, anger management has been a "hot topic". Courts are now referring offenders whose infractions are "anger based" for therapy as part of the disposition of their cases. On the other hand, some people enjoy watching people on t.v. becoming enraged as a form of entertainment.

For many of us, we were taught that anger is wrong both to experience as an emotion let alone to express it. And then, there are some of us who were taught that anger is a "sin" which needed to be confessed. Indeed, anger is a multi-faceted feeling that is oftentimes misconstrued and which can cause many problems in our lives. As an evaluator for DWI offenses, there were a number of people who experience "road rage". Among some of the sayings that I have heard people express with respect to anger are "Don't get angry, get even"; "The man who loses his temper, loses the argument"; "Well, I don't see why you're so upset".

Although most programs dealing with anger management are generally adequate and offer "tips" on how to identify and deal with "anger patterns", I have not found any that correlate the issue of anger with feelings of guilt. I believe that it is extremely important for people who are concerned with such problems/issues as anger cycles, depression, fears, road rage, managing stress, the issue of responsibility, forgiveness and healing to understand the role that guilt plays in remedying these problems.

What I have found in my psychotherapy practice is that many, if not most, people associate anger with feelings of rejection or abandonment and therefore are quite afraid of feeling or expressing anger. As a result, they will tend to repress or suppress their anger, which results, in their experiencing a number of problems both personally as well as in relationships. I have found that the most significant "byproduct" of repressed anger is depression. It seems that most people suffering from depression have developed a pattern of repression of their anger over a lengthy period of time that can interfere with many aspects of their lives. It affects the way they think, feel and act.

Charles Bonasera

Charles M. Bonasera had been a practicing psychotherapist since 1962 and has served as a Consultant, Mediator, Author and Workshop Presenter since 2003. Based on years of extensive research he became a Stress Management expert and founded/ directed the Stress Management Center which evaluated and treated stress-related problems. As President of Personal Identity Controls, he developed and produced a number of interactive materials on various stress-related topics to enable people to take greater control their lives.Charles produced the CD/workbook entitled “Guide To A Life Management Process” which helps people recognize and manage their stress more effectively. His Workshops and consultations with businesses, corporations and schools, stresses the recognition that our greatest resource is people and treating them with dignity and respect promotes productivity. His role as a keynote speaker mixes his professional wisdom with practical solutions and a sense of humor.

Based on his previous experience as an evaluator of learning disabilities, he began rendering Workshops to school districts in 1995. His goal was to help educators recognize the importance of incorporating principles of mental health in the classroom. His Workshop and Consulting roles dealt with issues such as anger and stress management, developing reasonable expectations, belligerent behavior, case study workshops, parent-teacher relationships, reducing anxiety to facilitate the learning process, problem solving techniques and the practical components of healthy, happy relationships. Many of these same topics were incorporated into general audience workshops as well.

Charles’ methods center around helping people develop “alternative ways to happiness.” His problem-solving techniques are practical and interactive enabling people to make their own choices in their own individual style and time-frame.. His approach clearly embodies the philosophy that “the greatest learning we experience is when we don’t know we’re learning and are having fun” and that learning is both an intellectual and emotional process.