Im sure that you can remember a time in your life when you were very much afraid of doing something or about what was about to happen to you. It was terrible, wasnt it? Your anxiety level went way up and your pulse quickened. You may have felt flushed or even woozy. Your heart was pumping such that you didnt know if it would explode out of your chest. You didnt know if you were going to be able to handle whatever it was. You doubted yourself and almost caved in to the fear. But instead, something very different from what you may have expected happened. It was like a shot of adrenaline was introduced and you blocked out the feelings of fear and replaced them with a sense of having to do what you had to do. You didnt think about ityou just DID IT! Somehow you managed to gain the courage to deal with that situation probably in a manner which surprised but later gratified you if you took the time to realize what you had accomplished.

But perhaps youve forgotten about that episode and put it in the back of your mind. Im sure that there are other situations that arise present day which bring about the very same feelings. Theres something about our feelings and minds that most people dont realize. Once weve experienced something and handled it successfully, if you can recall the feelings that allowed you to accomplish whatever it was, youll be able to reconstruct those feelings once again. Although your mind may experience doubt over your ability, that recollection can change the course of your mind taking you down that frightened, negative, doubtful, unconfident road. Instead, you can become successful once again and add to your already growing repertoire of successes.

Probably one of the reasons you cant recall your feelings very easily is because you werent taught about the importance of feelings in dealing with your life. Rather, you were taught to THINK. In fact, some of the messages that you received may have taught you to disregard your feelings in deference to your thinking. But now, you may realize that you have another toola tool that will never desert you because your feelings are able to be trusted. At first, you may have a hard time doing that but with practice, it will become easier and, ultimately, become second nature and you wont have to doubt your success again.

Charles Bonasera

Charles M. Bonasera had been a practicing psychotherapist since 1962 and has served as a Consultant, Mediator, Author and Workshop Presenter since 2003. Based on years of extensive research he became a Stress Management expert and founded/ directed the Stress Management Center which evaluated and treated stress-related problems. As President of Personal Identity Controls, he developed and produced a number of interactive materials on various stress-related topics to enable people to take greater control their lives.Charles produced the CD/workbook entitled “Guide To A Life Management Process” which helps people recognize and manage their stress more effectively. His Workshops and consultations with businesses, corporations and schools, stresses the recognition that our greatest resource is people and treating them with dignity and respect promotes productivity. His role as a keynote speaker mixes his professional wisdom with practical solutions and a sense of humor.

Based on his previous experience as an evaluator of learning disabilities, he began rendering Workshops to school districts in 1995. His goal was to help educators recognize the importance of incorporating principles of mental health in the classroom. His Workshop and Consulting roles dealt with issues such as anger and stress management, developing reasonable expectations, belligerent behavior, case study workshops, parent-teacher relationships, reducing anxiety to facilitate the learning process, problem solving techniques and the practical components of healthy, happy relationships. Many of these same topics were incorporated into general audience workshops as well.

Charles’ methods center around helping people develop “alternative ways to happiness.” His problem-solving techniques are practical and interactive enabling people to make their own choices in their own individual style and time-frame.. His approach clearly embodies the philosophy that “the greatest learning we experience is when we don’t know we’re learning and are having fun” and that learning is both an intellectual and emotional process.