Ok, is there anyone reading this article who hasn't been told that "you are judged by the friends you keep" at some point in their life? Probably not and the reason is: It's true. Hang with a gang of thieves and the world will assume that you are a thief. But there's more to the power that your primary circle of friends and associates wield over you than your perceived character traits. In fact, your primary circle actually builds your character traits, and they influence the level of success you are capable of achieving. Without even being conscious of it, we take on the personality traits and habits of the people that we associate with. As time goes by we become clones of our associates in many ways. And, just as we reach a level of comfort with being with our associates, our associates reach a level of comfort being with us. A type of group dynamics is formed that works to keep everyone together at the same level. Here's an example: Suppose that you work in a factory on the assembly line and you've become close friends with the other people on your shift. Several times a week you all stop off at the neighborhood bar for a couple of beers on your way home. You get together to play software sometimes on the weekend, and everyone more or less has the same home life. The day comes that you decide you want to break away from the mold, get off of the assembly line, and get a position in management. You make a decision to enroll in college so you can get a degree. Excited about your decision, you share it with your friends the next time you're all sitting around the bar. "What?", they exclaim. "Why do you want to be a management jerk? Those guys are idiots. You know that!" Desperate to keep the group together, they begin to chip away at your decision and show you the "error of your ways.". They remind you that you won't be able to join them for drinks if you have to go to school after work. And who's going to take your place on the pitcher's mound if you're in class every Saturday? You waiver; maybe you even change your mind. What in the world were you thinking anyway, how could you have believed for one minute that you could get off the assembly line and into a corner office? "Baa, baa, follow us," the sheep say. And you follow because your reality, and the way you perceive your position in life, is directly related to the people who have the most influence over you. So, what happens if you surround yourself with highly successful and motivated people instead? Well, the same dynamics exist but, this time, it is a dynamics of encouragement and mentoring. You begin to see what other successful people do and you start doing those things. You discover how successful people think and you start thinking that way. It's automatic. You can't help it. Here's one of the easiest decisions you'll ever make. Simply decide what level in life you want to rise to and then start associating with people who are at that level. The rest will take care of itself. |
