When I became pregnant with my daughter, Aubrey, I was 21 years old, freshly married and scared to death! I read all the books, including the "What to Expect" series (even the infant and toddler ones). All these books gave us "one size fits all" kind of parenting advice.
When Aubrey was born, we practiced the "one size fit's all"; parenting advocated by all the books I read. We encouraged her to fall asleep on her on, meaning we let her cry herself to sleep. I also encouraged Aubrey to feel comfortable playing alone, and not need me. I did however KNOW that breast milk was best, and since I did not know that the resources were out there to seek help to learn HOW to breastfeed, I pumped.
Fast-forward 5 years.
I unexpectedly got pregnant with my son. This time I found myself alone. So, instead of reading (yet again) all the more mainstream books, I instead turned to my heart. I searched my heart for the kind of parent I wanted to be. The kind of child I wanted my son or daughter to be. I was not going to have help this time, so it had to be something I would understand, stick with and love, unlike the parenting style I choose with my older daughter.
I had no idea about Attachment Parenting. I did not know there was a name for how I instinctively parented my son. I just followed heart. I was steadfast in my resolve to breastfeed my son. I sought so much help in this. I had issues, just like many other first time nursing mommas. From problems with to much milk, to problems with the pace that my milk did flow as well. We struggled, but it was a struggle that really made me feel good, like I was really doing the best thing possible for myself and my child. We eventually "got it" and it was/is the best thing in the world for both of us!
Then while at a LLL Meeting someone was wearing a ring sling. I thought it was amazing to be able to hold your baby AND get something done! So I bought one. This was my first and not my most comfortable, but I learned that I could have my newborn son with me, and still tend to my 5-year-old daughter and get work done around the house.
I searched, high and low, to find the perfect sling for me. I learned how many different types there were, and decided on how I liked mine best. When I did not find one on the market that catered to my needs and wants, I created my own.
It was not till then, that I accidentally bumped into the name "Attachment Parenting"; I started reading, and was amazed and shocked that there were other mommas just like me. Mommas who loved their children enough to listen to their hearts AND their children's cries! I also learned that my co-sleeping is actually a great way to "attachment" parent, and is especially good when you are breastfeeding.
I was introduced to cloth diapers, which at first I thought, "NO WAY; Are people NUTS?"; Well I know different now. I then began cloth diapering my then 8 month old little boy. The patterns are so fun, the work is minimal and I know that I am doing just a little part to save the earth. Not to mention save some money! Another added benefit to my choosing cloth, is my son has extremely sensitive skin, and with cloth diapers he has had not ONE break out -- not even a hint of any type of diaper rash.
To me Attachment Parenting is not at all about a set guidelines though this is the set provided by Attachment Parenting International:
1. Preparation for Childbirth
2. Emotional Responsiveness
3. Breastfeed your Baby
4. Baby Wearing
5. Shared sleep and Safe Sleeping Guidelines
6. Avoid frequent and prolonged separations from your baby
7. Positive Discipline
8. Maintain balance in your family life
We (as a family) practice several or most of these guidelines, now. Though like I said, my daughter as a baby was not parented this way, so I have a good sense of the exact diffrences in the two children.
Why these guidelines are nice to see, they are (to me) just that guidelines, to me Attachment parenting is more about Instinctive parenting listening to my heart and doing what comes naturally to me, not about some set of guidelines I "must" follow.
Now my son is 22 months old, still and still totally "Attachment Parented," which to me means he is continueing to co-sleep, nurse, is still being worn on a daily basis, and still has cute cloth on his little butt every day AND night.
He walks, has started talking, and is becoming a real "little man" (I am sometimes sad to say.) I am confident that he is so well adjusted because I was and am so steadfast in "my kind of parenting"; and my beliefs.
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