I'll bet you had a rush of optimism when you first started online dating. All those women, all advertising themselves as being AVAILABLE!

But statistics show that there are more men signed up with online dating sites than women. So right from the start, some men are going to lose out.

And most men are more focused initially on meeting ANYONE than a potential Ms Right and they send out messages to dozens or even hundreds of women.

That means that even fairly average-looking women are getting more messages than they can cope with.

So if you send out a message to your absolute favorite on the site, that message has to compete with many others. Don't feel bad that she doesn't reply. She has already realized that it's impossible to reply to all the messages she receives, not even with the pre-written 'brush off' messages that some sites provide.

So you start to play the game too and send out multiple messages. And because you couldn't possibly write an individual message to each woman, you send out so-called 'carpet bombs'.

Hey - you have to realize right now that you are perpetuating your cycle of failure. The more messages you send, the less individualized they are and the less your chances of getting a date.

Yes... more messages = fewer dates!

I learned early on that it's important to have a proper plan rather than act out of desperation. I describe in my book, 'Online Dating Tips For Men' on page 110 how you should divide women into five categories and send them different kinds of messages, with different degrees of individualization.

I follow that plan strictly because I know it gets results. But when I've done that and sent out all my messages for the week (I like to work to a weekly schedule so I know I'm not going to be overloaded with dates) I have some fun...

Yes you can have fun with messages. Typically I'll have a beer to 'loosen up' my thought processes, then I'll click through some profiles to find one that catches my interest.

And then I'll very quickly fire off a one-sentence message based on something I've seen in her profile.

I'll be quite cheeky sometimes - I don't feel any pressure to succeed because I've already carried out my plan and I know I'm sure of dates. This is extra.

And you know what? These quick-fire messages often get the best response. And by being a little bit cheeky, I have already set a good 'tone' for the date.

It's important to remember that carpet bombing doesn't work. Don't waste your time. Instead, form a plan, or use mine from 'Online Dating Tips For Men'.

Send out messages selectively with the right degree of individualization. Send out some quick fire messages too.

Soon you will be able to work out statistics that tell you how many messages you need to send to get a date.

You know, so many men get hardly any dates through online dating, or even none at all. But it isn't rocket science. An average kind of guy like me can get plenty of dates. You just have to know how to play the game.