The other day, my son came home from school in distress. It seems a group of children have been giving him the blues because he is gifted. My son attends public school. His school district, although I am told it is one of the best school districts in the country as evidenced by their test scores, (The vice principal told me that) does not address the needs of gifted students until third grade. I wont even go into what I think about that. Believe me, its an 8 part series. My son told a story that I know all too well. It would appear that after several months of observing my son correctly answer questions in class, (I admit he can be eager to demonstrate his prowess) a group of students decided to exact their own special quiz for my son. The way this maneuver works is by asking a question that is considered to be extremely difficult and then demanding an answer immediately. When the object of this inquisition does not answer immediately, then he is pronounced, not so smart after all. The youngest member of the regional MENSA, he is only seven years old. He has the emotional development of a run-of-the-mill, average, everyday seven year old. He was crushed by this event. Hes a sensitive boy. His assessment of the situation was dead on target. He said that it, just didnt make any sense. He noted that they asked him questions but did not give him a chance to consider the nature of the problem and calculate an answer. He was sure that it was within his power to resolve the division problem they had concocted. (It was only a two number, two-digit problem but they havent gotten to multiplication yet in his class and well, I work with him at home). I know this will come as a complete shock to you, you and I being such fast friends and all; but, I am a bit of a nerd. Thats what gifted kids grow into you know. I had my feet held to the coals in that exact format with the same results. I shared with my son my childhood recollections and we commiserated. Then, I had to break the bad news to him. It happens all the time when you are an adult. Perhaps, even more than it did when I was a child. The pathetic truth is that we live in a culture that says it values intellectual prowess. We scream it at the top of our lungs during political debates, in council meetings about raising property taxes and when the current discussion of the unfunded No child left behind fiasco rears its ugly head. It is polite cocktail discussion. It is a lie. In a world where proficiency is king; the king is proficient. He who rules the western world is a C student and he is not alone. It can be said that the brilliant shy away from the power and glory type positions. What is also true is the more sophisticated taunting that goes on regarding those who pay particular attention to details. Who doesnt view the nit picker with contempt? Remember the CIA operative who had collected data connecting odd behaviors of some immigrants across the country with a potential attack on U.S. soil? His employers regarded him as high strung and paranoid but not so much that they relieved him of duty. They simply marginalized him. They transferred him to a position where he could be promptly ignored. Are we a country of the stupid? No. What we are is a country about the easy way out. We shy away from problems that are large, twisty complex masses of tangled issues. We jump to the conclusion that has the best chance of having a two-sentence solution. Even if it is not true that this is what we believe, it is true that this is how we behave. Does anyone really believe that discrimination is not an issue in this country? Many people will swear that this is an issue of the past and they mean it. Well, sort of. What they really mean is that we have enacted all kinds of legislation that addresses this issue on a federal level. We really did make a federal case out of it. They rush to the conclusion that the problem is solved because it is more palatable than try to face the real problem that was always lurking at the bottom of this issue. While you can legislate public behavior, you cannot force people to be fair-minded. This requires much more consideration than the lets make a law response and nobody wants to deal with that. Is there any person who knows the correct answers a lot of the time that hasnt been called a know it all? No one ever means that in a nice way. I find myself trapped as a parent. I have always prided myself on telling my son what I believe to be the truth about any given thing at any given time. I encourage him to be the best person he can be. I encourage him to do his best not someone elses. I tell him this even though I also have to tell him about the opportunity cost of doing so. I have to tell him that socially he will suffer because he will not be readily accepted in the lemming pack. The upside, when they go over the cliff, he wont be in the pack. The downside, until they go over the cliff, he wont be in the pack. Human beings even bright human beings are gregarious. In short, (I know its a little late for that) we all want to hang with the cool kids but as mature adults, we are charged with teaching our children to recognize and appreciate their individual brilliance. Savants teach us all a lesson. The most impaired brains are capable of blinding us with their genius. Instead of asking them to turn it down, lets just wear shades and bask in their glow. |
