Parents, listen to your mouth. Do criticisms accidentally slip out instead of compliments? Criticism and compliments get different results. Which results do you want?

Criticism gets results:

"You'll never amount to anything!" "You're the laziest kid I've ever seen!" "Don't be so stupid!" Parents, do you get frustrated with your kids? Are you out of patience? Do you regret the things you say?

Listen. I know raising kids isn't easy. I know it's a full-time job. I know you get frustrated. On the other hand, it's a fact that when you tear your kids down, you get results. Imagine being the parent yelling, "Get out of here! Stop annoying me."

Become the child receiving these words:

Look at your parent's face. What do you see?
Hear your parent's tone. What do you hear?
Experience your feelings. What do you feel?

Do you to want to please your parent? Are you angry, sad, or hurt? Would you feel like pleasing or rebelling? Parents, it's important to realize that criticisms don't affirm but they do get results. They don't build up but they do tear down.

Criticism prompts your kids to:

Fester inside with pain, shame, and anger.
Avoid a relationship with you.
Fear more of your criticism.
Feel self-hatred.
Rebel.

Criticisms take on a life of their own:

They become your child's inner self-talk and feelings.
They get repeated by your kids to your grandchildren.
They can recycle forever.

How to turn criticism into positive results:

Listen, parents. You can have a positive influence on your child. You can resolve to change. You can be patient. You can think before you speak.

All you need to do is:

Look in the mirror when criticizing your child and ask yourself, "Is this the face I want my child to see and remember?
Decide to change.
Practice catching your child being good instead of bad.
Notice your child's face when you use compliments.
Replace criticism with positive praise everyday.

One more thing, you'll never regret using compliments. You'll never regret building your child up. You'll never regret the results.

Jean Tracy

Jean Tracy, MSS "Granny Jean" helps parents, teachers and counselors, raise awesome kids with solid characters. She graduated from Seattle University with a degree in education. She taught elementary school in Washington, California, and Connecticut.

Inspired by her desire to help the problem children in her classes, Jean returned to graduate school. She earned a Masters Degree in Social Work from Bryn Mawr College in Pennsylvania. Upon returning to her home in Washington State, she worked as a probation officer and then developed a private counseling practice with families and children that spanned 22 years. During this time she earned a Diplomate in Clinical Social Work.

When asked how she developed her parenting books and products, she tells a unique story. "When I was an intern counselor in an old elementary school in Pennsylvania, I shared my office with the janitor under the stairwell. When the bell rang, the children's pounding footsteps drowned out every counseling session I ever had. The office itself had buckets, mops, and assorted cans lining the walls. The light bulb overhead swung back and forth casting creepy shadows everywhere. My counseling tools were broken down toys in a huge vinyl bag. Those toys never seemed a good way to counsel kids.

When I started my counseling practice, I looked for better skills to understand the kids I counseled. Over the years I developed fun ways to communicate with kids, to help parents help their own kids, and build character too. My unique parenting books and products are the result."

Jean Tracy, "Granny Jean" is a wife, mother, and grandmother. She is also an award-winning Distinguished Toastmaster and professional speaker. Her presentations, include:

1. Build Character Now! Practical Tools for Busy Parents 2. Discipline Styles, 3 to Lose and 1 to Choose 3. Family Meetings: This Special Formula Builds Character 4. Teach Your Child Success! 1 Simple Formula, 3 Easy Steps

Granny Jean's presentations are full of stories and interactive activities that will help you as parents, teachers, and counselors build solid character in your awesome children.