For most of us finding the energy to just get through the day can be a challenge. Sometimes the best read of the zen-o-meter is whether or not the activity or emotion we are engaging in throughout the day nurtures our energy or drains it. For example, playing with the kids in the park, makes you feel more alive. Fighting your way through the grocery store, drains the life blood out of you. When you get out of bed you only have so much energy to get through the day. Many things will come at you that you have no control over. So this month we will explore controlling one emotional habit that is guaranteed to drain your soul. Learning to master this beast will leave you with more energy for you to spend the way you want.

Judgment never feels good. Often we do it subconsciously without giving it a second thought. However, most of the time it's a very conscious act. Most popular psychology holds that we judge to make ourselves feel better; That by judging others we somehow feel superior to them. Most ancient spiritual traditions hold that we judge to separate ourselves one from another. No matter why we do it, or how we do it either blatantly, silently, or in the form of gossip, judgment drains your spirit and leaves your energy lower then it needs to be.

A few nights ago I was standing in my son's room as he was talking on the phone ignoring my presence. It wasn't that he didn't know I was there, he had simply made the choice not not notice me. He was ignoring me because it was easier to do that then to acknowledge he had not done the dishes or his homework. Needless to say, I was having some escalating judgment and although I felt particularly righteous in my position, it didn't feel good. After several minutes of my heated glare he finally succumbed and to my evil eye and as he begrudgingly hung up the phone he bid his friend, Aloha.

It made me laugh. Earlier in the day I had been studying a book about the Huna philosophy. One of the tenants of the Huna philosophy, which is a Hawaiian spiritual tradition, is Aloha, which means, to love is to be happy with. There I stood, trying to stay mad, but well reminded of Aloha meaning that in order to love him I had to be happy with him.

Judgment is such a downer. But to love is just the opposite. Having to remind yourself not to judge others~ downer. Staying in a spirit of unconditional love~ uplifting and energy building.

So, at the end of the evening, my son and I did the dishes together. He didn't get his homework done. I did in fact have a moment of ah ha or better put, Aloha to love was to be happy with. At the end of the day, that just felt better.

Spiritual traditions can seem so rigid. However, in the spirit of Aloha, the rule of thumb is almost decadent. When you can replace, having to avoid judgment, with the follow your bliss path of staying in love, everything becomes a little brighter, a little lighter. You free up a lot of energy to do things like grocery shop and dishes and take the dog for a walk...

So, what's the motto?

It's simple... Aloha