Occasionally I use this joke in my seminars:

A mother of triplets is wheeling them down the street, and introduces her new arrivals to a neighbor:

This is Mary, shes the future doctor; this is John, hes the future lawyer; and heres Megan, the best and brightest: shes the future salesperson!

Sadly, few people, other than the most self-aware, are able to find their callings so easily.

In fact, I believe most people get to where they are, not because of parental guidance, or through goal setting on their own part.

They get to where they are, mostly by happenstance; by accident.

You can see them crawling down the highway, not in any hurry to arrive at work. Their bumper stickers proclaim: Id rather be skiing, or fly fishing, or doing yogaanything, in fact, other than what they are doing.

When theyre at their desks, or taking an order at a restaurant, or filling in your insurance forms, they arent really THERE, at all.

Dont get me wrong. Theyre not like that young guy in the next cubicle, wearing the Beatles haircut, who wants to be the star of a tribute band. He has a specific goal: hes a Wanna-be.

If their determination is strong enough, Wanna-bes will make it, and in the meantime, they dont really mind being in sales, or customer service, or working at Wal-Mart.

But Rather-bes dont have a specific goal. All they know is they dont want to be serving you. They suffer from, what sociologists call, role incongruity.

They just cant get into their work roles, and every one of their customers and co-workers pays the price, suffering through their perennially foul moods and shirking. Most of us settle into our work roles. They never do, seeming twitchy and ill at ease, always.

If youre a Rather-be, recognize it; get a goal, and step-up to Wanna-be status.

If youre an employer, practice distinguishing between the two.

One of them will come to work, try hard, and appreciate the chance to be subsidizing his dream.

The other will never be there for you, for customers, and ironically, for themselves.