If you are being abused please don't think it will get better because it won't, it will get worse and if they have abused you they will abuse your children, your pets and your things, my ex-husband did. I almost died for what I thought was love. It wasn't anything close to what I know now is love. I didn't think I deserved anything better for myself because I had started to believe what he had told me. My story is no different than a lot of other abused wives. My ex-husband started abusing me by hitting me, kicking me, and punching me. Once he broke my collarbone and another time he tried to run me over with the truck. I wasn't his wife, I was the old lady, and I was to be seen not heard. I was one of his possessions just like his stereo or his truck. I was just something else in his life that was a mistake and he had decided to abuse. I did leave him several times, but always went back because I was scared that I couldn't live on my own. I also believed all the things that he had drilled into me over the years that we had been married. He had made life comfortable for awhile. He did make a mistake though; he let me go back to college. It was there at school that I found myself. I started to see that I was a worthwhile person. I could look after myself and I wasn't stupid. I started planning my escape. I opened a bank account and started putting money away to leave. When he would go out I would pack little things in boxes and hide them in the back of the closet. I had planned to leave right after my graduation the first week of June of 1991 but fear stepped in and I stayed. The last straw came on July 4 that year when he tried to drown me in the bathtub and then run me over for trying to leave. It was in a rare moment of clarity that I saw my future I was going to die or I was going to kill him. I went to the local coffee shop and called my sister and told her that I had finally had enough. I called a 1-800 number then packed a suitcase and went to a Women's Community Safe House. I spent about 6 weeks there trying to decide if I was going to go back or not. After a lot of soul searching and conversations with friends and family I decided to file for divorce. That was ten years ago and if I could have planned my life myself it couldn't have turned out like it has. I'm not saying that everything is wonderful but I was told to write out five goals and five impossible dreams and do you know what they all came true. If you've read this far you either is a person who is in the same place I was and looking for help or somebody who has been there. Please if you are in an abusive relationship get help, don't let fear or pride stand in the way of living a happy life. You deserve to be loved and cared about. |
