Have you recently had someone listen to a problem of yours, a situation which made you angry or a complaint that you had made and then they say; I understand your frustrations, but you must understand that... Isnt it funny? Silly humans, they actually believe you are buying into their BS explanations of why things are the way they are rather than addressing the problem, getting off their butts and righting the wrong or fixing the issue. You know why they do this? They actually think they are engaged in Conflict Resolution Theory, and do you know why? Well some moron, okay some individual wrote a book on how to deal with hard to deal with people, probably started as an eBook and then became a best seller. In that book it says when someone is angry or complains you need to bring them back to a rationally state so you can work through the issues with them. The instruction manual is indeed worthy in some situations, but humans are generally not so smart and they start using this on everyone. Here is how it goes; Person A is angry, person B is to LISTEN and then repeat what they said with emotional understanding; I.E. emotional intelligence theory. Next the person is suppose to calm down and then listen to the other person B as they explain what can or cannot be done due to the way things are. If the person A is a dummy then person B can convince them that there is some paperwork, procedure or bureaucracy first to deal with and that is the way it is done, because this is the way we always do it and those are the RULES and there is nothing they can do about it, sorry and I really feel for you person A (#334-2A-6783247). The other day I head a middle class, soccer mom, former executive tell her daughter and so that, they could not read a kids book in the Magazine Rack at Starbucks and she used this tactic on them. Oh, I understand that you are frustrated, but we have to go soon and Mommy says you cannot start to read that now, because soon we have to go. The very smart young man said; So, I still want to read it and that is not a good reason. The mom said but those are the rules. The young boy said; you just made that up, you never said that rule before! Indeed, but we are so conditioned to buying into the hokum of forms, paperwork, rules and bureaucracy that we allow all this to prevent us from getting what we need. Its not that we shouldnt all follow rules, it is that rules are not helping anyone any more and no one can remember why those rules exist or who made them? Many people get frustrated as to why they cannot get the service they are entitled to from companies, government or just about anyone. Because everyone is so busy copying this excuse tactic. Even entrepreneurs do this often enough and they do so to their own peril. Because if you do not give the customer what they want, someone else will; so if you get too frustrated at things there is a reason for it and I understand completely, but those are the rules? Think on it. |
